Loner

When I was a kid, I was horribly anxious because I never seemed to fit in with any of my peers; I always felt like an outcast, not part of any social group. It got lonely sometimes, and I didn't really understand and identify the source of that loneliness until much later in life.

Now, as I look around at the world and at the people I encounter on a daily or weekly basis, I'm filled with a kind of creeping horror at the thought that I'd even want to fit in. Being an outsider is a mercy. It can give you distance and insight, and it can even protect you from certain stresses that might be harmful.

If there's one thing I want to teach my kid, it's this: it's good to be an outsider, but if you want to get on in the world, you need to practice pretending to fit in, to assimilate with everyone else. Because nobody likes or trusts a real loner; they just like the idea of one. That's a truth you'll rarely hear.