Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Having Written

I see it a lot. Writers stating that they write because it's fun, because it's entertaining. This is something I probably spend way too much time thinking about. Because I don't find anything about writing fun. For me, writing is hard. It's really fucking hard, and it gets harder the older I become.

I don't find one single aspect of the writing process enjoyable, on any level. When I write, I'm poking at recent wounds, opening up old scar tissue, raking around in the wet meat to find the core of the story. It's emotionally, physically and spiritually draining. I honestly can't see what could ever be fun about it.

But I envy those writers who say they have fun when they write. I wish I could be that way. I'd probably write more; I'd certainly feel more love for the process. I might even be less of a miserable bastard. Maybe.

The only thing about writing that gives me any ounce of pleasure is having written. When I finish something - be it a short story, a novella or a novel - I feel good, about myself and about the world. That good feeling is fleeting; it lasts only as long as it takes for the realisation to hit me that I have to start all over again on another story. But at least I have it, and it's mine. All mine.

I think that's the main reason I put myself through the emotional shitstorm of writing: to have written. Because having written is so much better than not having written.


Luke Walker said...

For the most part, I enjoy writing. Problem is when it's shit, it's REALLY shit. When you feel like you're just chucking any old crap at the page and knowing it'll be months before it's anywhere near ready for someone else to tell you it still needs work. I could do without that.

And points for the Scanners pic.

Susie Moloney said...

Agreed, with exclamation points! Writing is much like cross country skiing and math. You're just glad you did it. (but when it's working, there's no better feeling, amirite?!)